Seems a simple enough question, doesn’t it? But the answer? Not so much.
If you are even asking, however, it means you are looking for love. Perhaps you’re just coming out of a relationship that you discovered too late was not “love.”
Perhaps you’ve been in a few too many of such disappointing relationships and now wonder what is true love.
Love true love is an elusive creature.
Even many who are married have found the relationship has not measured up to their expectations. Love is not something that can be forced – on either side.
So the first tip I would offer is to Quit Looking!
Sometimes we want something so badly that we tend to “see” it in everything we encounter. To be looking that hard can be counter-productive. Better to just live a full life, putting yourself out there among people with whom you have common interests and let love find you.
It may not happen overnight, and it may surprise you when it does happen (and with whom), but love is more likely to happen if you are not eying everyone you meet as a prospect. The fact is, Mr. Right is probably someone you would not have given a second glance if you are looking with preconceived ideas of what is true love. So be open to new ideas and new people.
What you can do is determine in your head what qualities you consider vital to a good and loving relationship. Make a list. Do you like a good sense of humor?
Now there’s a quality that can get a couple through a lot of adversity intact. How about consideration for your feelings? Empathy for others … a social consciousness?
These are all qualities that would make “forever” feasible … even easy. They’re qualities that can get you past those day-to-day irritants that strain a relationship. Remember, being the hottest guy in the room means little if you’ve discovered too late he also has a habit of rearranging your facial features every time he has a drink or two … or if he belittles everything you do and say.
So make a list; but have some perspective as to what’s really important.
Earlier it was mentioned to put yourself out there where you can meet people with the qualities that make for a good, long-lasting relationship. How do you do that? Let’s eliminate the obvious. Meeting someone while bar-hopping is just going to increase your chances of hooking up with a party boy, or worse yet, an alcoholic.
es, there are exceptions to this rules; but a safer bet would be to have friends introduce you to men they know and respect.
You might get involved with a church or social group. Build a house with Habitat for Humanity or volunteer at a local hospital or animal shelter. Take your dog to the dog park! If you enjoy reading, join a book club. If you like to write, join a writer’s group. Just get yourself out there among good solid people and connect.
Instead of looking and puzzling over what is true love, let true love find you while you’re too busy enjoying yourself and helping others.